Those who know me would probably describe me as a good guy, whose heart is in the right place, but lacks a consistent sense of follow-through and commitment. So in some senses it should probably come as no surprise that the path to today has taken a windy road since I was 18.

When I started the Baptism process, I had many conversations with people, but one that stuck out was with Pastor Kev. We shared and conversed that with God, “It’s Never Too Late”. Up until last year at this time, I can truly say I struggled with that understanding. Then, the dominant feelings and emotions in my life were worry, guilt, shame, self-doubt and a desire to present myself in a way that made it seem like I had it all together. I had a proximity to God and was well-intentioned, but I was mired in a pattern of overthinking how to build the relationship with God that I needed and wanted for my life.

Back when I was ready to declare my faith, I held off, went to university, and lived life, in the way I thought was best. From then until I came to Cornerstone 6 years ago, God hovered, but in many senses the devil dwelled, and created a pattern of poor choices and sinful behaviors. Even as my journey at Cornerstone began, through multi-sport and then small groups, being well-intentioned created a struggle to truly let God lead my life, and offered the devil a place to reside.

While the past year has been a struggle in many ways, I know that a great deal of growth has taken place in my walk with Jesus. I’ve learned that true change takes patience and persistence, and that growth comes with a lot of hurt, to one’s self and others. God has flipped the negative emotions that started the year into positives, and even through the suffering he has consistently reminded me to find joy and gratitude in the journey. The first part of the year, weekly sermons and teachings resulted in a pattern of text
conversations with others, that reminded me that there are “No coincidences”. That God was present and teaching me about patience, persistence and self-control.These have not been areas that I have excelled in through my life, but God’s desire to show his presence, forced a hard rethink.

Hebrews 12:11, “No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but later on, however it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it”.,
reminded me that I wasn’t defined by my past, but am able to build a new life with Him as the driver.

Then in March of this past year, a friend sent me a link to a podcast about the Parable of the Prodigal Son. I finished the entire series that night, and throughout came a sense of calmness and lightness and it felt as though God was saying, I got you, give me the keys, now let’s go.

That Parable has emerged throughout this year, in so many comforting ways. Through worship, daily devotionals and conversations, God has reminded me of the importance of trusting in Him, and that faith in Him should not be based on how we are feeling in the moment, but the unrelenting love He has for me. That night I prayed a lot, thanked God for his presence and protection, sought forgiveness and asked for him to guide and lead me in the life he wanted for me. Jeremiah 29:11 “For I know the plans that I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”), has been a verse that has helped remind me that I should not try
to grab the steering wheel or take the keys.

He has led me to a place of understanding that I was and am a sinner, and not a casualty. He has provided the daily shield against temptation, and demonstrated the love that I need to display to Him, myself and others. He has put me into positions to serve, to mentor and to allow others to learn from the work He has done in my life. He has taught me that problems, suffering and worry, can all be transformed into beauty when you surrender to his undying love. He has removed sinful strongholds from my life, self sabotaging behaviours, and has become the first relationship that I can say I am running to, instead of running away from.

Finally He has taught me that waiting for Him does not mean complacency. It means, hard work, openness and a willingness to understand that often what He does through us while we wait for Him, is more important than what we think we are waiting for.

This journey is not one that has taken place in isolation. The theme of needing community in this walk, is one that has persisted throughout this year. I want to thank my small group for living life with me and helping me fully open the door to God’s place in it. It wasn’t always pretty, but you all kept me close to God, believed in me, and motivated me to be better. To my family and Chloe, Cal, Dave, Tina, Ben and Shelly, I will always be grateful that God continues to help lead our journey and that we are able to grow together. I have leaned on you and couldn’t have hoped for better accountability partners and friends and family throughout this journey. I want to thank the many of you, who have become important relationships in my new life. Through volleyball, OTT, Starkids, Pursuit, LEAP, weekly messages and more, God has pushed me to meet, share, learn and grow with so many of you. It makes the next part of the journey God has in store even more exciting and special.

Throughout this year, a focus for me with God has been finding the “Joy in the Struggle”. Arriving at this moment I am truly grateful and blessed, that today I can say God has removed the past desires of doing it my own way and feeling empty, and replaced it with hope, joy, love and a tremendous sense of gratitude.